Round Two

Here's a second stab at writing a one-liner for The Underground. Fifty words. Twice as long as the panelist at the RWA conference recommended, but she also said that fifty is okay. Not great, but okay. I'll take it.

This time I left out a whole bunch of stuff because it feels like I'd have to explain rationale, motives, da-da da-da da-da. Melera particularly comes off as a helpless damsel in distress. In distress? Yes. Helpless? Hell, no. But I'm trying to get agent/publisher eyes to at least read my query letter, and since TU is anything but business as usual, I guess boiling it down to its understandable aspects is the only thing to do. And, since TU really belongs to Parker, it only makes sense to make him the actor in this one line cast of characters.

"A werewolf, humiliated by how his mage lover had tricked him into serving a vampire he hates, must prove that the beautiful, amnesiac alien he rescued and then fell for isn't the serial killer stalking the city before civil war erupts between preternaturals and humans over the murders."

I sent it to my editor and asked for her opinion. I'm almost afraid to see what she says.