Readercon: Had A Great Time!

Okay, so it's been a while since I did my reading and yeah, I'm just now getting around to telling you about it. I've got an excuse, though--my day job sucked me into a black hole and only recently spit me out. No shit, either. I did more traveling in July than I've done in a lo-o-ong time. In a way, I don't mind all that much. I mean, being locked up in a hotel conference room all day with a bunch of tax nerds isn't exactly my idea of a good time, but the frequent flyer miles are a bonus. If this keeps up, I'll have enough miles by the end of the year to take a trip somewhere in the Lower 48. W00t, w00t!

Back to Readercon. I read Chapter 2 and it was great. People laughed at my jokes--cool! Nice to be around folks who get my sometimes decidedly odd sense of humor. There was one moment, though, that was a bit embarrassing. After the session was over, four people came up to me and wanted to know where they could buy my book. "Uh, well...uh, gee...it isn't published yet..." Nothing like having to put off potential buyers because you haven't anything to sell. It's enough to make you say screw New York and go POD.

Anyway, I was cleaning up my hard drive last night and came across a poem I'd written years ago. Mind you, I don't claim to be a poet. It was just something I did, and it was heartfelt when I did it.

Do you believe in love?

I’m not talking about love at first sight, love in hindsight, new love, or old love. I’m not talking about mad love, romantic love, abandoned love or puppy love.

I’m talking about love that spans millennia and lifetimes, patient love and abiding love. I’m talking about love that waits like a lone candle in the window of a lonely house on a dark road, on an even darker night. I’m talking about a love that has no name, a love that surpasses all understanding, a love that lasts for eternity...and beyond.

Do you believe in love?

I don’t either.

Going To Readercon This Weekend?

I'm giving a reading from The Alien Within, sponsored by Broad Universe, an online writer's organization to which I happen to belong. It's listed on the program as "Rapid Fire Reading," which showcases the works of as many authors who want to participate--subject to con time limits, of course. So at Readercon, I get five minutes, just enough to read Chapter 2 (where I introduce y'all to Melera, my alien warrior queen), not counting the introductory remarks.

Nervous about standing up before a serious bunch of strangers? Hell, yeah. But then, I've done it before--this is not much different than any other public speaking gig I've taken, except they don't feed me lunch. So I'm very much looking forward to it--never know who's in the audience, right?

Stuff like this always sends makes me want to take acting classes. I mean, if I can do a talk on the fly and it sounds intelligent and holds people's interest...well, if you're anything like me, it ain't much different from acting in a movie or on the stage. Doesn't mean that the butterflies aren't there, though. So, if you're coming to Readercon, the RFR is scheduled for 11 AM on Saturday, July 19th. Don't know exactly the line-up, unless they go in alphabetical order, which means I'll be one the first ones up.

Maybe I'll see one of you there...whoever you are.

Vampire Rule?

I did a reading back in January. A dismal night as I remember. Afterwards, I started chatting with one of the audience. Without having read the book, she told me she felt that in the zot hierarchy, vampires are at the top.

Yeah—they wish. Vampires don't rule in most U.S. cities. But Seattle’s a special case. Kurt is one of the city’s founders, which allowed him to do two things: persuade his human timber baron partners to turn a more or less blind eye to zot labor, and take complete control over the flow of zot immigration to the new city. That Seattle is one of the few places where zots can live in relative peace (with emphasis on the word relative) is Kurt’s doing. It’s the debt all zots in the city owe him. And Kurt is not shy about collecting his due.

So that’s why vampires are on top in Seattle. How Kurt managed to do what he did is a book in itself. But the result was give him an iron grip over Seattle’s zot population. You wanna live here? Gotta talk to Kurt first. Of course, getting Kurt's permission is not quite as literal as it used to be, what with the public university and all. After all, it's in Kurt's best interest that the school attract in and out-of-state zots to Seattle because they spend money. And Kurt's got lots of business interests in the city besides his Last Chance nightclub and Boeing. Restaurants, coffee shops, bookstores, you name it. But it's understood by all the university's zot students that they will leave after graduation. No exceptions. You want to stay in Seattle after graduating? Gotta talk to Kurt first...

Oh--you're wondering why a 600-odd year old vampire would have a major stake in an aircraft manufacturer? Well, Kurt is a Renaissance man...

Revolutionary Politics

So if preternatural power makes zots all that and a bag of chips, why don’t they just enslave humans and take over?

Actually they have, from time to time. But it’s always short lived. The sheer power of human numbers is part of it. Enslave a human population and eventually you’ll face an invasion force you can’t beat. Too damn many of them. Then there’s the animosity between the different zot races. It runs so deep it’s almost ingrained. Historically, zots would sell each other out before they’d cooperate with each other. Humans know this--their sheer numbers and zots’ racial hatreds are their most effective weapons against preternatural power and permanent zot rule.

(That’s the short answer, anyway. The long one is a 10 to 15-page paper.)

But something new is happening. All across America—and the world—zots are uniting. They don’t want to take over. They want something way bigger than that. They want to change the rules. Legal recognition. Equal rights. Humans would never go for it but they know that. Hence the revolution—what they can’t get by negotiation, they’ll take by force.

(That too is the short answer. The long one is an even longer paper.)

Of course not all zots are a part of it. That animosity thing again. So the revolutionaries’ numbers are small. But it’s growing. And they are determined to get what they want.

You might say that Garrett and the revolutionaries are after the same thing: the freedom to openly be what they are without harassment (an understatement, to be sure). Garrett’s method is magick. Way more effective than using armed force. But then each doesn’t know what the other is doing. If they did, would they work together? Interesting question. We’ll never know.

It's Con Season!

Went to Balticon this past weekend--and a good time was had by all. I always go to the RIF (Reading is Fundamental) benefit auction and this year my prize is a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Robot from Lost in Space. Loved that show when I was a kid. Maybe I can find Dr. Smith somewhere. Be great if I could, huh?

At cons, I tend to haunt the literary tracks (no surprise) to meet up with old friends, make some new ones, but most of all, to learn. Tracks on the ins and outs of publishing are always timely. For example, I found out some time ago that many in the industry consider blogs to be a form of publishing and anything that appeared in a blog first will most likely be viewed as a reprint. This is a problem if a publisher insists on first rights. I've already run into this--one of my Zot Musings I later developed into a short story and submitted to a couple of places. No takers--it's already published and they wanted first rights, of course. That's why I haven't posted chapters from my book.

Anyway, someone made the marvelous suggestion that I post chapters that were cut from the final manuscript. So I'm doing just that. This one was cut because over the course of writing the story, Parker, Garrett and Kurt's relationships with each other changed somewhat without me realizing it until later. It was a subtle change, but a change nonetheless and in the context of the entire book, this chapter no longer made sense. Sneaky devils.

Almost running along the hallway, Garrett somehow managed to stem her tears. She didn’t want to start crying. Not now—Kurt might hear and take it as a sign of weakness.

The mage burst through the door to the darkened alley, panting. Trying to calm down, she held it open a few moments before she quietly closed it shut. She put her hands up to her face. This can’t be happening, she thought. I’m so close. So motherdamned close. She leaned against the cold, unyielding door, no longer trying to hide her tears.

When her crying stopped, Garrett dried her eyes with her hands, shoved them into her pockets and started for her car. The freezing night and her aversion to cold weather made her feel even more dejected. At the end of the alley, she stepped out from between the buildings and ventured onto the sidewalk. She hesitated a moment, blinking rapidly in the sudden glare of the streetlights. After her eyes had adjusted, she walked to her car. Reaching it, she fished the keys from a pocket in her cape, opened the door and got in. Instead of leaving, she sat behind the steering wheel, staring at the crowds on the street. The bars were closing. Humans were everywhere, obviously on their way home from tonight’s impromptu citywide party. A few minutes later, she finally started the engine and drove off. Maneuvering her way around clumps of raucous revelers here and there, she soon left the Square behind.

Garrett allowed herself to think about Parker. Her lips formed a disapproving frown. “Effit, Park—why can’ ye jus’ accept what’s happened and deal wit’ it?” she said to an oncoming car. As she drove, her face slowly relaxed. She spoke with the werewolf in her imagination, telling him some truths he needed to hear. “Parker,” she murmured, “you know damned well I agreed to be your freyja only because the pack needed one. You needed all the help you could get to cope with the pack war and later, the werehunt. I was the only one you could turn to. My agreeing to be your freyja…” She shook her head. “I never promised I’d stay with you forever Park, and it was wrong of you to assume I would. Find another freyja, Park. Find another, and then maybe we can be friends again.”

By now Garrett was almost home. She lived in an older section of Seattle, about a mile southeast of where Parker lived. She pulled her Altima into a space on the street directly in front of her cozy little house, shut down the engine but didn’t get out of the car. If Kurt thinks I’m going to duet with him if Park doesn’t work out, he’s wrong. Duets were inherently unstable. They usually turned into factions and factions usually turned into wars. And if Kurt thought he could force her into a duet…well, he was wrong about that, too. Garrett’s hazel eyes turned hard. “Jus’ ye try, vampire—anna it’ll be t’ last t’ing ye ever do,” she whispered to the frigid night.

Then a tidal wave of tiredness crashed over her. Wearily, she slumped forward in the driver’s seat until her head rested on the steering wheel. The air inside the car grew steadily colder. Finally, she got out of her vehicle and secured it. Trudging to her house, Garrett climbed the stairs to the small porch and unlocked the front door. Sighing softly, she pushed it open and went inside.

Reality Check...

Reality. Such a dirty word.

My editor recently told me he would be retiring soon. As in, like now. I saw it coming, but...I don't know about you, but sometimes I just close my eyes and carry on, hoping that when I open them it will have all gone away. Never happens but I do it all the same. Maybe that kind of irrationality is the hallmark of being human. If it isn't, I know another--the ability to hold two diametrically opposed beliefs at the same time. That was amply demonstrated to me last week. It's embarassing, so I won't go into it except to say that the Lexus is a very nice car to drive aimlessly about while lost in the desert...

The Alien Within: Cast of Characters--Melera Redux

Wouldn't it be great if you could instantly morph into something or someone else whenever you wished? For you, nothing would be off limits. You could play pranks on your friends (or enemies), crash an A-list party, rob an exclusive jewelry store--whatever your little heart desires. And you'd get away with every bit of it. Of course, you'd have to be careful to morph back into your own form in private. No point in lifting a million-dollar diamond necklace looking like Dubya if someone sees you morphing back into Joe Schmuck in the alley.

But that kind of morphing, that's what Melera's cz'ado--shadow--can do, among other things like boosting her already formidable speed and strength. Hence Kurt's name for her, the Wonder Bitch. As for what Melera's shadow is, it's a separate entity that shares "space" in her mind. Sort of like a were, but not really. A were is a separate, self-aware consciousness that shares mind-space with its human counterpart and can physically manifest in its own form--a wolf, a tiger, a shark, whatever. A Xia'saan's shadow is separate and self-aware, but without form. That's why Melera can morph into whatever she wants to be while Parker can only morph into his wolf. There are other differences between a were and a shadow, too. Like the higher emotions, for example. A were can experience its own joy, love, rage, lust, etc., but feelings like these are beyond a shadow. For a were, if an emotion--say, rage--is strong enough, it can break its human's mental bonds and trigger a forced morph. That would never happen with a shadow. It might understand why a particular circumstance would enrage its Xia'saan but for itself, it would feel nothing. A shadow's only interest is in preserving the life of the person that enables it to live. And that, dear reader, is what makes it--and by extension, Melera--so very, very dangerous. During her time in Beloc's prison ship, many of his guards discovered this truth and in the hardest way. Too bad so few of them lived long enough to warn their fellows.

The point of all this explanation is to say that Melera's cz'ado is, like Parker's wolf, another secondary character in The Alien Within, though it doesn't play as large a role. We'll see more of it as the series progresses. But the thing I like best about Melera's shadow is that its fantastic ability is based on quantum theory. I credit David Lindley, author of Where Does The Weirdness Go? for the idea. Read his book sometime. It's fascinating.

The Alien Within: Cast of Characters--Parker Redux

Imagine you're a fly inside Parker's house on a Saturday afternoon. Through your faceted eyes you watch him putter about, wiping down the kitchen counters, now hauling a load of dirty laundry to the basement, then heading back upstairs to pay some bills, maybe stopping by the refrigerator to grab a beer first. What's the first thing you notice? The man talks to himself a lot, doesn't he? Seems that way--nobody's around but him. But you'd be wrong. Parker's not talking to himself. He's talking to his wolf. And it talks back.

Imagine another scene. You're that fly again, this time clinging to a trunk of an oak tree in the wee hours of the morning. Parker sits at the tree's base, his right ear a mere inches away from where you crouch. He's watching someone walk along a path, wondering why they're out so early. The person is abruptly pulled off the path and into a stand of trees. Both of you hear the sound of flesh being roundly beaten. Parker jumps to his feet and suddenly you realize you can hear his thoughts:

Oh, no. Don’t let this be what I think it is.

The victim hadn’t cried out when he’d been pulled from the path, but someone was screaming now. Parker had just taken a step to run towards the commotion when his wolf’s hard mental shove threw him off-balance. He stumbled and almost fell.

And you're going where? it growled.

But—

Stop acting like a damned human. It ain't our problem.

But—

No dice.

Parker wavered. His wolf was right. He’d been about to break a cardinal pack rule: whatever’s happening, don’t get involved unless directly threatened. The rule was callous, but practical. Getting involved might lead to a discovery of what he was, which could be fatal—for him and the pack. But what if it wasn’t an ordinary mugging?

Seems the wolf has more sense than Parker does, right? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The truth is that they need each other, brothers against the wind fighting to survive the storm of humanity that wants them dead because of what they are. Hardly seems fair. But then life isn't fair. And nobody knows that better than the zots.

My World And Welcome To It, VIII

Humans and zots have been warring with each other for as long as humans and zots have been around. It's always us against them, whichever side you're on. But just as always, there are exceptions to the rule. Witches and scrum are proof of that.

I'm a witch. That means one of my parents was zot and the other human. My mother's an elf. She didn't have to be, but she is. Anyway, human divided by zot equals witch. Sometimes. More likely the kid'll be scrum. Human and zot genes don't always mix very well. A good mix will get you a witch. A bad mix gets you scrum. And a really bad mix is better off dead.

So...witches. Too zot to be human and too human to be zot. Witches consider themselves zots, but other zots don't see it that way. To them, we're half-breeds. To humans we're zots, half-breed or not. Whatever. Anyway, since zots as well as humans consider us suspect, we answer to neither. Witches answer to the ONE, the Source of All Things. And the ONE guides us in everything we do. 'Course, some of the ONE's ideas don't go over too well. Like the deal we cut with humans wa-a-ay back when. "Humans, if you'll stop killing us witches because we're zots, we'll protect you from other zots." It wasn't exactly like that but that's how other zots saw it then, and that's how they see it now. Anyway, I could give you the gory details about why our protecting humans serves the ONE's purpose, but I won't. If I did...Mother, we could be here for days.

Blessed be, my Sisters and Brothers. We witches are the cats who walk by ourselves.

The Alien Within: Cast Of Characters, IV

Last but not least, the fourth hero in this story--Melera Shen'zae of Xia'saan. Xia'saan was a warrior planet in the Maqu Galaxy, one of the Fifteen left standing after the first interstellar wars ended. It was destroyed in a surprise attack by the Akkad, the opening salvo in another galaxy-wide war that grows ever more complicated as factions switch sides with the ease of a laser shot. Oops, wrong book.

But that space opera going on in Maqu is the reason why Melera's on Earth. She's hiding from the Vst and the Akkad (they both want her bad) so she can work in peace on cracking the code her now-dead father left for her to solve. After that, she has to find the Xia'saan battlefleet he hid somewhere in the furthest reaches of our solar system. But she's got a bigger problem besides trying to crack a code without a key. While in Maqu she'd been captured by the Akkad and tortured until she managed to escape. Now she has these painful, unpredictable seizures that cause temporary amnesia--so far, anyway. It's during one of these episodes that Parker accidentally runs her down with his car. Not a great beginning for a beautiful relationship, huh? Of course it is. Parker gets to rescue a damsel in distress.

Melera is a study in contrasts. A brazen warrior and consummate assassin, she seems to be made of cast iron. But when we meet her, she's wracked by fear, loneliness and self-doubt. And when she loves, that cold exterior disappears--she's cuddly as a tame crocodile and loyal beyond sense. (Of course, the flip side is betrayal equals dead meat.) Her favorite place to sit is on Parker's lap and when he tells her how badly he'd been used by Garrett and Kurt, she offers to kill both for him.

She's also quite the Wonder Bitch, Kurt calls her. Seems Melera can do anything any zot can do, only better. And then she has her own alien skills on top of that. On the other hand, she's allergic to Earth. Like her seizures, her allergy attacks turn her to jelly. Hard to be Wonder Bitch when your nose and eyes are running like faucets and your head feels like it's about to explode. The cure? Cigars. Weed works too, but smoking it makes her lose control in a way that leaves Parker begging for more. She can't get the hang of the English language (Parker translates for us) and she lisps. Perfection does have its price.

A last thing: one of my beta readers commented that Melera is "royalty but she comes off as Mae West." I wouldn't have said Mae West, but right on target. Aliens don't do things the way humans do.

My World And Welcome To It, VII

"My cell--my world, my hell."

--unknown Vst POW.

The Alien Within: Cast of Characters, III

Ah, Kurt. That sadistic, s.o.b. vampire regent with a twisted sense of humor. The Master of Seattle. And a serious control freak. But that's understandable. Before his rebirth into a vampire, Kurt ruled an entire country instead of a tiny slice of a mid-sized city.

Kurt's not your ordinary vampire regent. Oh, he can read minds, morph, and stuff like that. But he likes to eat and drink (red wine is his thing), and hanging out on the beach under a hot summer sun is pretty close to heaven. No wonder humans don't know he's a vampire. And his human abilities are particularly useful in keeping his colony and the rest of Seattle's zots in check.

So if Kurt's all that and a bag of chips, why's he bothering with Garrett's obsession to turn Seattle into Zot Paradise? To share his powers with her and Parker? Well, anyone can see the benefits of having a zot haven. But where Garrett sees a utopia, Kurt sees an opportunity. He already controls the zots. Why not humans? Call it a bold new era in zot/human relations.

And maybe a bold new era for him and Parker, too...


P.S. The most fun thing about working with Kurt is weaving him into the fabric of the past to make an alternate present. For example, Kurt's ruling over Seattle's entire zot population isn't typical of the relationships in other cities between vampire Masters/Mistresses of colonies and the rest of the zots. Kurt's unique position stems from his being one of the founders of Seattle in the 19th century (though you won't see his name on any memorials). Migrating zots of whatever stripe had to either submit to his rule or take a hike. Many chose to submit. Why? That's another story...

My World And Welcome To It, VI

(Two young men walk into a restaurant with a cozy, homey feel to it.)

“Well, hello there, Vince. I was wondering when you’d get here. Who’s your friend?"

“Hey, Tina. This is Jack. Tonight's his first time.”

“Hello, Jack. Hmm, Jack the Shark. Has a nice ring, don’t you think?"

“Yeah, real funny, Tina. Can we get something to eat now?”

(Tina laughs and walks away.)

“Dude! She’s knows I'm a wereshark. She's a sniffer--I'm outta of here!”

“Yeah, and she knows I'm a weretiger, too. I--"

"What? Aw, Vince--now we're really in deep...come on, let's go!"

"Chill out Jack, will you? Relax--Tina's one of us.”

“Uh?”

“One of us. I mean, you’re always going on about how humans treat zots like shit and all, right? And they do. But not all humans feel that way. Sniffers like Tina and like those plain, everyday ones over there. Humans like them think we zots deserve to be treated...well, like humans. And between them and us, we're doing something about it." (Vince waves at the restaurant crowded with zots and humans.) "Look around you. Every single one of us here tonight is doing something about it.”

(Jack looks stunned. Vince smiles.)

“Welcome to the revolution, Jack.”

The Alien Within: Cast of Characters, II

Garrett Larkin is a mage and a member of Seattle's Balthus Coven. She's also a lady with a plan. A big one. Through magick, Garrett is going to turn Seattle into a haven for zots, where their kind can be free from human persecution once and for all. But she can't just come out and say so. Witches have a very complicated relationship with other zots. Let's just say that in general, they are disliked at best. They don't get messed with because witches can do stuff like call up demons. And the last thing you want is a demon breathing fire down your neck.

So...a plan to make Seattle into a zot haven. It's a noble cause, especially considering Garrett's entire family died in a zot pogrom when she was just eleven years old. But by the time we meet her, her cause has turned into an obsession. She needs Parker and Kurt's help to make her plan work so she lures the two into her web using sex, lies but no videotape. Does she stop after they end up in that very messy love triangle instead of a cozy little threesome? Of course not.

Garrett, poor thing, has pretty much lost her sense of right and wrong. Will she get it back? Well...

More 2 come, as they write.

My World And Welcome To It, V

Where is that Xia'saan bitch? Where is she? And where is her cursed battlefleet?

I've been searching the galaxy for her. The Akkad--my spies, my suntroops--are everywhere in Maqu. But they haven't found her yet. An entire galaxy...even so, there aren't that many places she can hide. Out of millions of planets, only a tiny fraction are habitable. Of those, an even tinier fraction have starfaring technology. She's untrackable in the interstellar regions but she can't hide there forever. Her ship--eventually she'll have to put in for provisions and repairs. Somewhere. And when she does, I'll take her. Again.

I don't need her battlefleet to win this war. The Akkad is mighty enough to fight on two fronts. But having her fleet will make my victory that much easier. With it, I can handily crush the Vst and the Fifteen. The Vst, those upstarts who demand their economic freedom from the Akkad. And the Fifteen--including Xia'saan--that created the the Akkad as a puppet to feed their bloated ambitions in Maqu. With or without her battlefleet, soon they will all dance to my tune--and the Akkadian puppet will have become the puppeteer.

And her, the bitch-queen--she loved me, once. I know she did. Mark me, she will love me again. Oh, yes. She will. I will make her love me...

The Alien Within: Cast of Characters

Parker Berenson, one of the four heroes in this story, is the alpha of Seattle's werewolf pack. Many of my beta readers liked him best. That's not surprising. He really is a sweet guy--he'll kill you only if you deserve it.

Born human, Parker became a werewolf while in college. How that happened and how he ended up in Seattle is another story. But like I said, he's a sweet wolf, caring, nurturing even, with a well-developed sense of justice and fair play. His biggest fault is that when he loves, he loves blindly. He places the object of his love high on the proverbial pedestal. They can do no wrong and he will not hear anything against them--even if it's true. I suppose you might say he's like the Queen of Hearts, if you're into that sort of thing. His unquestioning love also blinds him to its consequences. And it does get him into trouble. It's how he became trapped in that bitter love triangle with Garrett (a mage) and Kurt, and why his pack is about to turn on him. Question is, does he learn anything from his mistakes? Maybe...and maybe not.

All in all, The Alien Within belongs to Parker. Though told from all four heroes' point of view (and a couple of secondary characters too) this installment focuses mainly on him. I've set the series up in this way because I wanted to give each character a chance to be on center stage. I won't tell you who's next.

More on Parker later.

By the way, I'll mention now that The Alien Within is aimed at the adult reader of fantasy and science fiction. As in Parental Discretion Advised. Just thought I'd let you know.

My World And Welcome To It, IV

Bloodsport. I love bloodsport. We all do.

The 'drome in Huziil is, in my opinion, the prettiest on Xia'saan. At night after the moons have risen, it glows like an ice palace lit from within. Seating is by lottery and if the Dark favors you, you'll draw one close enough to the field to watch the action live. If not, you'll just have to be satisfied with the holos. My favorite game is qint. Four warriors, eight swords. The warriors win points not just for each cut, but also for their skating style. It's beautiful to watch. Sometimes--not often--the judges declare a match to the death instead of to yield. When that happens, you should see the chits fly! The betting board lights up like fireworks. I once made enough to take a three Maqu-standard month luxury cruise to Sydara and still had enough left over to buy a new flitter when I got back.

If You've Read This Far...

then by now you have undoubtedly realized that the purpose of this exercise is to unabashedly promote my novel, The Alien Within. The voices you've heard--excuse me, read--are not characters in my story, but they could be. Perhaps they will be. The Alien Within is the first of a series that will end when I run out of ideas. Or publishing contracts. Whichever comes first.

TAW is the story of a werewolf who falls in love with an alien. Taken aback? That's the reaction I've seen in most people who've asked about it. Or not, for that matter. Funny thing is, I've been told that when it comes to the fantasy and science fiction genres, the twain shall never meet. I didn't know that before I wrote my story, so I did it. Judging by the comments from and conversations with my beta readers, the marriage works very well, indeed.

I'm boring myself with all this blatant self-promotion, and you too, I'll bet. Unless you're an agent or publisher, I'm going back to the world where I'd spend all my time if it wasn't for my day job...and the rest of the mundane.

P.S. I really like that sadistic s.o.b. of a vampire. He is ever so much fun.

My World And Welcome To It, III

My rebirth into a vampire was the best thing that could have happened to me.

I'll never forget that night. The men were away hunting when our village was raided. We were snatched out of our homes and herded into the village center. They killed all the elders, then shackled us--the women, children and the few men who'd stayed behind--and marched us through the countryside. Many of us died along the way, including both my babies. My twins, in their sixth year.

We finally reached the sea where the biggest ship I'd ever seen lay at anchor. The night before we were to sail, my grandfather came to me. I thought I was seeing a ghost. He'd disappeared on a hunt many years before. He told me what would happen to us and said he could save me. But I had to trust him. I said yes--what else was I to do? The last thing I remember before blacking out was the sting of his teeth piercing my neck. I don't remember much after that, just bits and pieces, like a dream. The only thing I really remember was my thirst. How it burned!

Then I just seemed to wake up. Grandfather was by my side, holding my hand. A crowd of strangers surrounded us. They stared at me. I was afraid but Grandfather held me, stroking my braids. I felt so weak. He told me many months had passed since he took me away and I was now a vampire. The people around us--vampires too, for the most part--were my new family. I was still frightened but they were very kind, feeding me from their bodies until I was strong enough to manage on my own.

Some vampires hypnotize unwilling humans to make them docile but I've never taken blood from a human who wasn't willing to share. There are many vampires who feel the way I do, though you wouldn't know it from all those horrible stories humans tell about us. Ah, well. Humans are what they are, and always will be.

It's funny, but almost three centuries later I still find it ironic that I had to die in order to live.

Me, The Reticulan

Definition: grey. See photo at upper right. Not a grey in appearance, but appearances are deceiving.

My World And Welcome To It, II

Only thing ya need to know about us elves is that we kick BUTT. I've read some of those human stories--wise old elf, my ass. And what's with those lame pointed ears? Looks stupid as hell. Buncha nancies, if ya ask me. I tell ya true--fuck with us and we'll jack ya ass up. Big time. Personally, I like messin' with humans. I just lay down some of my glamour, make 'em see something that isn't there and then just sit back and laugh. Like the time I saw this couple in Magnolia Park. The dude was all over this chick. And she was lovin' it. So I made him see her like she was a bloody skeleton. Motherfucker screamed like a girl and ran! I almost peed myself, I was laughin' so hard. Still, I don't mess with 'em too much. Don't want no pogrom, ya know? See, there are some humans who can tell who's human and who's not. We call 'em sniffers. I mean, we don't stink or nuthin'. They can just...tell. But we zots can't tell the sniffers from other humans. So ya gotta be careful.

Agent Rant

A peeve: agents who don't answer email queries. Not only is it annoying, it's rude. I understand that an agent's time is limited and a detailed explanation for rejecting a manuscript may not be feasible. But the least an agent (or, more likely, an assistant) could do is hit the reply button, type "no" and hit send. It's not hard--I do it all the time.

Thanks for listening. Or reading, as it were.

My World And Welcome To It

It's tough to be a werewolf or any other kind of zot these days. You have a job, a mortgage, pay taxes, never run red lights and still humans try to kill you every chance they get. Take us werewolves. Humans refuse to believe we don't consider them a delicacy. Honestly, they don't even taste all that good. A human gets eaten every five blue moons but to hear them tell it, we chow down on them every day. When we do eat them...well, it's like getting shot. They're in the wrong place at the wrong time and there isn't anything else to eat and we're hungry. And that hardly ever happens, even in the cities. About the only time we kill humans is when they're trying to kill us. That goes for all of us zots, not just werewolves.

Now don't go thinking just because we're all in the same boat means we're one big happy family. Far from it. Some of us get along better than others but on the whole...well, we don't. Still, there are times when we're willing to put aside our differences and hang together--like when we go to one of Kurt's raves and P-A-A-RTY! Or when there's a zot pogrom. Then it's all for one and one for all. Who wants to be butchered, for Garm's sake? So in that sense, we kind of look out for each other. You see, there really aren't that many of us. Say, ten to twelve percent of the population worldwide. The only time our numbers rise in proportion is when there's some kind of plague or other scourge that wipes out humans in large numbers. That's because we don't get sick like they do. Like the Black Death. The vampires who remember those times say that in some places, zots actually outnumbered humans. But it never lasts long. Unlike us, humans breed like rabbits. Mmm...rabbits. Delicious.

Who's Kurt, you say? Oh--he's a vampire regent. The Master of Seattle, in fact. He's a sadistic s.o.b. with a really twisted sense of humor, but when he's in a good mood (which is pretty often), he's cool. I think so, anyway. Alpha hates him, but that's another story.

Oops--have to go now. I'm on 'rol duty this week and I'm almost late. Howl at you later!