My World And Welcome To It, II

Only thing ya need to know about us elves is that we kick BUTT. I've read some of those human stories--wise old elf, my ass. And what's with those lame pointed ears? Looks stupid as hell. Buncha nancies, if ya ask me. I tell ya true--fuck with us and we'll jack ya ass up. Big time. Personally, I like messin' with humans. I just lay down some of my glamour, make 'em see something that isn't there and then just sit back and laugh. Like the time I saw this couple in Magnolia Park. The dude was all over this chick. And she was lovin' it. So I made him see her like she was a bloody skeleton. Motherfucker screamed like a girl and ran! I almost peed myself, I was laughin' so hard. Still, I don't mess with 'em too much. Don't want no pogrom, ya know? See, there are some humans who can tell who's human and who's not. We call 'em sniffers. I mean, we don't stink or nuthin'. They can just...tell. But we zots can't tell the sniffers from other humans. So ya gotta be careful.